just give me my damned tea

[fittzwm]

So, we ventured into Teavana, a self-perceived high-end tea shop in the mall. We admired their collection oh-so over-priced cast iron & porcelain tea pots. We tried a couple of samples and were even enticed to purchase one of the sample, a blend of two mate teas. Spicy and invigorating.

Pushy Tea Snob Dame: "We have a two ounce minimum. Since this is a blend, you have to get four ounces."
Me: "That's fine, thank you."
PTSD: "How do you intend to store this?"
Me: "In an airtight glass container in the cupboard."
PTSD: "Oh... I see. We really can't guarantee how fresh it will be unless you store it in a light-proof, metal airtight container. We have these ones starting at $12."
Me: "No. Thanks anyways."
PTSD: "Do you have a reliable thermometer? Most mass-market thermometers can vary by as much as 10%. Are you sure you can maitain your steeping water at 178 F? Otherwise, we can't guarantee that the tea will taste like the sample. This one also has a timer. Brew too long and it will be bitter. This thermometer is on special for $36.95."
Me: "I have one. Really, I'm fine."
PTSD: "How do you intend on sweetening the tea? We used this organic unprocessed sugar. It has a much cleaner taste and is the only way we can guarantee the tea you brew at home will taste like the sample. It's only $11 a pound. You don't need much."
Me: "Well, I had not considered your special sugar. I intend on sweetening my tea with the sweet sweet tears of traumatised children. Just give me my tea."
PTSD: **Blink*Blink** "Um, that will be four ounces of blended mate - $17.50, please."

Comments

[dame-eleanor.livejournal.com]

Lady...you RAWK!!! What a quick witted comeback!

That so be THE.LAST.TIME. that I would visit that establishment. Ever.

Lurves you!

[fittzwm.livejournal.com]

Yep. We'll not darken their door again. I dislike the mall in the first place. Secondly, I can find good tea at far friendly, non-judgemental places. I'll stick with other tas vendors in the future. Queen Mary Tea in Seattle mail orders & they have a lovely Earl Grey with lavendar that is delightful.