fittzwm: (Malcolm)
[personal profile] fittzwm
Gads! For the second time in less than 24 hrs, I have bathed my hairy border collie. He's as thrilled with it as I am. Major suckitude.  

Reason for this second bath actually goes back about a week. We were asked by a survey group to test a new cat litter. We start the test process. Stuff's not so good. It is, in fact, crappy. Yesterday was the last day of the three day test. I can now change back to that cats' normal litter. They're both still irritated that I put them through this. So irritated, one one the little darlings saves a giant crap & releases it right in the middle of my very nice, hand-knotted kilim rug. Right in front of the front door. 

Dog sees poo (I am conjecturing the sequence of events based on the aftermath) and thinks "ooo - piece of candy", rolls in it and then eats it.  Either because of the vigorous rolling or the fact he just ate cat shit, he barfs it right up in the middle of the aformentioned kilim. My husband discovers the mess this morning & 'cleans it'. I can still see the evidence - *NOT CLEAN*! 

So I call him at work to vent. "I didn't want to bother you - I cleaned it up. By the way, hon, I thought you bathed the dog yesterday? He seems a little gamy,"  says my darling hubby. No shit (actually, yes, shit) I think to my self.

About this time, Malcolm realizes I am onto his stench and misdeeds. I am gathering the kilim & beating the shit out of it. Not all that effective. Into the giant front-loading washer with it. Too bad I can't stuff the dog in there...

Shift scenes to my sidewalk... Religious solicitors are in the 'hood. There must be a convention in town. Gadzooks - bar the doors, close the blinds & hide! They're walking up my doorsteps! Shit (not literal this time)! So they ring the bell, repeatedly. That doesn't get my attention enough, so they knock. Continually. The dog is now in a doorbell-ringing, door-knocking, anti-bath, guilt-ridden frenzy.  His cat-shit dog-barf aroma is, er, rich. An evil thought pops in my head - do I open the door and let my stink-monster greet them?  I take the high road, ignore the door, and bathe the dog.

Date: 2008-07-17 08:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I would have let him out to greet them, but then, I don't have much use for bible-thumpers, especially those rude enough to ring/knock more than once.

Date: 2008-07-18 12:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It was VERY tempting. Very very very... I don't think I really felt like dealing with a rant about my furry spawn of hell, though.

Date: 2008-07-17 11:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Malcolm was so nice and shiney afterwards:-)

Date: 2008-07-18 12:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yeah - he cleans up real good. Had to get him a new collar today. The old one was beyond redemption. (STILL stunk when I got home) So now he has a lovely red necklace to hold his charms. He likes it (and the attention it gets him!)

The cats are still taunting him about his two baths.


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