just give me my damned tea

[fittzwm]

So, we ventured into Teavana, a self-perceived high-end tea shop in the mall. We admired their collection oh-so over-priced cast iron & porcelain tea pots. We tried a couple of samples and were even enticed to purchase one of the sample, a blend of two mate teas. Spicy and invigorating.

Pushy Tea Snob Dame: "We have a two ounce minimum. Since this is a blend, you have to get four ounces."
Me: "That's fine, thank you."
PTSD: "How do you intend to store this?"
Me: "In an airtight glass container in the cupboard."
PTSD: "Oh... I see. We really can't guarantee how fresh it will be unless you store it in a light-proof, metal airtight container. We have these ones starting at $12."
Me: "No. Thanks anyways."
PTSD: "Do you have a reliable thermometer? Most mass-market thermometers can vary by as much as 10%. Are you sure you can maitain your steeping water at 178 F? Otherwise, we can't guarantee that the tea will taste like the sample. This one also has a timer. Brew too long and it will be bitter. This thermometer is on special for $36.95."
Me: "I have one. Really, I'm fine."
PTSD: "How do you intend on sweetening the tea? We used this organic unprocessed sugar. It has a much cleaner taste and is the only way we can guarantee the tea you brew at home will taste like the sample. It's only $11 a pound. You don't need much."
Me: "Well, I had not considered your special sugar. I intend on sweetening my tea with the sweet sweet tears of traumatised children. Just give me my tea."
PTSD: **Blink*Blink** "Um, that will be four ounces of blended mate - $17.50, please."

Comments

[fabricdragon.livejournal.com]

you know...... i would have looked right at her and said..
"so it sounds like what you are telling me, is THIS tea is no good. its not even the same stuff as the tea you served me, and you are trying to make sure i cant blame you when it doesnt taste right? is that it?"

geez, way to kill a sale
where is this so i dont go in there, because i woudl totally have flipped

nice retort by teh way

[the-thread-lady.livejournal.com]

BWA HA HA HA HA SNORK!

You always know just what to say. I think The Tea Snob finally figured out that she was not going to upsale you and increase her commission.

The tea should be all the sweeter for it.

[gwen-the-potter.livejournal.com]

"I intend on sweetening my tea with the sweet sweet tears of traumatised children."

Effin' fantastic comeback.

[corbaegirl.livejournal.com]

Overpriced idiot gits. I much prefer Teacup.

[fittzwm.livejournal.com]

Ooo - where's it located?

[corbaegirl.livejournal.com]

The top of Queen Anne Hill in Seattle, but they have a website and they ship.

[derekl1963.livejournal.com]

That store is actually not designed for anyone who actually knows anything about tea...

B and I usually have to get quite terse with them when we go there.

B and I usually have to get quite terse with them when we go there

[dame-eleanor.livejournal.com]

Why on earth would you bother??? There's no way their tea can be *that* "special".

Re: B and I usually have to get quite terse with them when we go there

[derekl1963.livejournal.com]

Because the bother is minimal and she likes their teas.

[seticat.livejournal.com]

For the *WIN*! :}

[dame-eleanor.livejournal.com]

Lady...you RAWK!!! What a quick witted comeback!

That so be THE.LAST.TIME. that I would visit that establishment. Ever.

Lurves you!

[fittzwm.livejournal.com]

Yep. We'll not darken their door again. I dislike the mall in the first place. Secondly, I can find good tea at far friendly, non-judgemental places. I'll stick with other tas vendors in the future. Queen Mary Tea in Seattle mail orders & they have a lovely Earl Grey with lavendar that is delightful.

[hrmortcia.livejournal.com]

i love their black dragon pearl tea love love love. we call it dragon ball tea. i have noticed a definite increase in pushiness the last few times i went in (which is like 3 times a year specifically to get the dragonball tea).

i wish i was as awesome as you with the comebacks X)

[tradarcher.livejournal.com]

Great comeback.